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Last week we attended Pubcon, a conference that’s 2nd only to WTFCon (which we’ve decided not to hold this year as our ad revenue wasn’t good enough to be able to rent even a meeting room in a cheap motel in Detroit. Anyway, we decided that in order to increase our Klout score we should get these easily egobaited excellent speakers some recognition, while doing very little work on our end.
After the success of our last viral piece “What if Crawlers were Trees?”*, we’ve decided to beat the corpse of that particular deceased equine and return to the scene of the crime with yet another “What if Crawlers…” post. So batten down your hatches, gird your loins, put the kids to bed, rub some…(get on with it – ed)… erm…and get ready for “What if Crawlers were on Tinder.
At WTFSEO, we are dedicated to making fun of out of date marketing trends, events, and what some think to be news. And one of the ways we do that is by publishing guest articles by people who have more time than sense, and are in the field (the SEO field, not a literal field). We are looking to grow our guest contributors team! Basically because the core group are totally out of ideas.
Given that the entire staff is wandering around the office with their noses pressed to their phones yelling “I see one!” and “Dammit, it’s another Rattata”, we thought we’d have our Latverian “offshore” team put together a guide to show you exactly where you can find those “gold foil” pokemongo characters.
You all have it on your phone, you’re running around derelict buildings, breaking into neighbor’s houses, all trying to complete the objectives of the best selling (erm isn’t it free? – ed) app on the market. Yes, of course we’re talking about WTFSEO’s augmented reality app PokeMongo. For those of you waking from a coma lasting longer than the 4 days the app’s been out, here’ ...
The Internet is complicated. If you think about the innumerable calculations that go into every Google search just to bring you the perfect information for your request, it can almost be overwhelming. Trying to appeal to every line of code in Google’s core algorithm to rank higher would be virtually impossible, even for the most advanced programmer.
Our woman at Google let slip that there’s a huge issue over at the ‘plex that they’re powerless to deal with. Ever since Seinfeld let slip that Mark Zuckerberg was a lizard person (which he denied, but as we all know, only a lizard person would deny that they’re a lizard person), Google has been hemorrhaging staff to Facebook.
Based on recent news that as much as 50% of traffic to websites may be coming from bots, we’ve decided that we need to pander to this community, so from this point forward every other post will be written for bots rather than humans (sorry fleshbags). 01000001 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101100 01101011 01110011 00100000 0 ...
It’s that time of year when the ego-bait posts come out in full force. All of your competition is putting out their “Top 247 SEOs” or “Best 100 Social Media Experts“, etc posts, but you don’t know how to do it, so you sit there twiddling your thumbs trying to come up with a true list of the best and the brightest out there.
Here at WTFSEO we’re all about sharing knowledge amongst our WTFSEOers, it’s what separates us from the beasts of the sea. So, in order to honor that commitment, we’d like you to take this poll, and let us, and all of the other WTFSEOers know what’s working for you, so they can steal it, and p ...
Many people across America have had their issues with size (ed: I hear there’s a cream you can get that… oh not that… nvm), and Google is no different. In 2014 they announced that they were trimming a bulky 15 characters from the size of their title tag, in order to get down to a “beach ready”, slimline 500 pixel length tag (about 55 characters).
Yes, it’s true. WTFSEO has joined the space race. Unlike those folks at a certain regal SEO tool who 3d printed a map of servers around the world and called it “the Internet”, we’re actually printing the whole, complete internet (even the naughty bits.) In association with the fine folks at NASA (Nigerian Allied Space Association), WTFSEO will be changing the world forever wit ...
The 14th of February is a day for lovers, a day for going that extra mile for your soulmate. But what if you haven’t met them yet, what if you’ve been lacking the right words to tell that special someone exactly how you fell about them? Well don’t worry loyal WTFSEOers, because we’ve done the hard work for you.
From: JJ@microsoft.com To: T@microsoft.com Hey T, I don’t know if you’ve seen all the news today, but GI, and JM opened their mouths again, saying absolutely nothing new, but what happens? All of the sites and social media go crazy over their utterances. It’s like all they have to do is say that clicking a link takes you to a website and there are 43 headlines about Google’s ...
As the world prepares for the landing of Google’s promised upcoming Penguin update (ed – aren’t they flightless?). We here at WTFSEO thought that now was the ideal time to set some things straight, ensuring that all the WTFSEOers out there have all of the facts they need to survive this site crushing update from our Googly lords and masters.
Another interesting question came up on Owdy Chat last week. The Search Engine Guy said that the content on the page is not as critical for ranking than having an actual functioning website. In short, he explained that the search engine can theoretically rank a page without any content, but without a website for them to crawl, it makes it much harder for the search engine to rank.
Any content marketing strategy involves knowing what’s going on in the world at large. Our head honcho noticed that, for some reason, the old Star Wars movies have been playing on TV a lot lately, so he asked us to Force out a tenuously linked post filled with Star Wars keywords in order to jump on this apparent trend and get poorly targeted page views from people who have zero ...
Are you a professional speaker, a fair to middling speaker, or a fresh faced noob who is ready to step out onto that stage and risk the derisive laughter of your peers in a manner that can severely impact your future professional career options? If so, then you need this handy, dandy, however many points I can think of, guide to public speaking.
Hit the Faceboo ...